Sydney Porter’s Naturally Empowered Path To Motherhood—And How It Can Inspire Yours

I’ll be very honest with you—before I actually became pregnant I had thought multiple times about having a surrogate carry and birth my child because I viewed the whole ordeal of pregnancy and birth as a painful burden. I was so deeply disconnected from the sacred cycles and transitions of life, I generally gave very little thought to the idea of being pregnant and having a child—primarily because the fear I felt around that potential reality shook me to my core. Eventually, I came to terms with the fact that I wanted to be a mother and I would have to accept all that it entailed, but I definitely envisioned that reality as a far off kind of thing that I would plan for in my distant future. So when I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter at nineteen, you can imagine my absolute shock—which was accompanied by overwhelming amounts of grief, deep shame, and fear. Luckily, though my initial thoughts and reaction were not a foreshadowing of how my pregnancy would play out. My transition into motherhood guided me to the depths of myself—it moved me towards my healing, and overall quite literally transformed me into a different woman. The journey I experienced in those months of my pregnancy was deeply spiritual, and I committed every single day of that sacred initiation to becoming the best version of myself as well as preparing my mind, body, and spirit for a smooth birth. When I reflect back on that time in my life, I’m always in awe of how fiercely committed I was to reshaping my views around pregnancy and birth, and just how much I changed in such a short period of time!

I believe my womb healing journey was the whole reason I conceived Veya in the first place! I had just stopped taking hormonal birth control pills right around the time of her conception. Little did I know that I was really just at the beginning of this path that I am now. At the time, I had been studying the female relationship to Mother Earth, and grounding deeper into the interconnected nature of our reality. I’d felt very called to consume more mindfully, and very quickly I became hyper aware of everything that I put into my body. Food, books, media, people—all of what we consume makes up who and what we are. Suddenly, with that realization, I noticed for the first time how I was betraying my own body in a sense by silencing and numbing my womb with the birth control pills I’d been taking. At the time I didn’t have any extensive knowledge on alternate forms of birth control and wasn’t aware of FAM—The Fertility Awareness Method—but I felt that my body was literally being filled with hormonal poison every day. So without a true plan, and very limited understanding of my own body, I stopped taking my birth control pills and really surrendered myself to the higher plan that was unfolding before me.

My entire nine months of pregnancy was one very long self-care ritual! When I was pregnant, I gained a whole new perspective on what it really means to care for yourself and had no idea how much I’d been depriving myself for years. I ate very clean and nourished my body as completely as possible in my pregnancy as an act of love for myself and my baby. I practiced prenatal yoga and made sure to deeply relax my body for at least thirty minutes a day. The yoga especially helped me to become acquainted with the sensations I felt during birth and practice breathing into pain. I created a birth altar as well as a pregnancy and birth vision board. I would come to my altar daily to visualize my ideal birth and charge the crystals, statues and other meaningful items on my altar, with my intention of a smooth, blissful birth. The vision board and altar became a constant reminder of the experience that I was working towards. I also spent lots of time in nature, lots of time alone, and let myself express as freely as I needed to in order to move through any fears, blockages, or heavy emotions.

My relationship with Mother Earth is really the guiding framework in my journey as a mother now, and it was the earth that held and supported me in my pregnancy before anyone else did. I view the womb and the earth as sisters, or even more so as mirror reflections of one another. They both hold powerful ancient wisdom, and before I consciously knew I was pregnant, my womb led me to the refuge of her sister—the Earth. I had suspected that I could possibly be pregnant, maybe a week or two after conception, and the idea of that was one that I didn’t feel I had the emotional capacity to handle on my own. I didn’t want to share my suspicions with anyone but the anxiety and stress I felt was wearing me down quickly. Then, one day when I was out near the forest, I couldn’t hold the stress within my body anymore. I ran into the woods, got on my knees, and put my hands on the Earth. Instantly, tears began pouring out of me, and I surrendered all my pain to the Earth. I shared my fears with her, and asked her to guide me on this journey. I asked her to share her mother wisdom and give me strength to walk this path. After that moment, I remained in denial about my pregnancy for the next four months. It wasn’t until I consciously discovered that I was pregnant that I remembered my confessions to Mother Earth, and realized that she had been aware and was supporting me the whole time. My relationship with her is what guided me to have a natural, unmedicated birth and look towards ancestral ways of childbirth preparation and postpartum care to carry me through my transition into motherhood.

If there’s one thing that I learned in my journey of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum it’s that an overwhelming number of women are at some level unaware of their power, and disconnected from their bodies’ innate knowledge and intelligence. When I realized how deeply transformed I was in my being and how much more of myself I was after becoming a mother I knew that all women deserve to have that unshakable foundation of raw power, strength, and radical acceptance that I cultivated during my pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

I believe that in motherhood and beyond cultivating deep confidence within your own inner-knowing comes from first approaching yourself with curiosity. Allowing your intuition to lead you, and knowing what guidance to follow isn’t usually something that is attained overnight. Using discernment, and understanding your own patterns, habits, thoughts, emotions, and cycles is a big key to knowing if you are leaning into your own intuitive guidance from your higher self source, or if you are following the fleeting desires of the body and ego expression. The difference between these two things is that the desires of the ego expression are those that stem from cravings, logical thinking, and reasoning. While guidance from the intuition is not so mentally based, but more so a calling or an inner knowing that is felt first in the body. Sometimes what the intuition calls you to do may seem strange, and go against everything that society or your family may believe. To actually follow your intuition requires faith in the journey and a willingness to have your life potentially shift in very big ways. But I promise taking that leap of faith is so worth it.

In my pregnancy I set a few strict “rules” for myself—more so for protection of my energy and mental space so I could be set up with a solid foundation to cultivate confidence and fearlessness in the face of birth. While I was pregnant, I avoided all traumatic birth stories, and chose to surround myself online and in my daily life with people who truly loved natural birth. I educated myself as completely and fully as I could about what actually takes place during birth and how our perceptions of birth in the west have been distorted and manipulated over time. I learned about the birthing process of other mammals, and recognized that human mothers are the only species of mammals that have the capability to doubt their own ability to birth. I made a pregnancy and  birth vision board that I hung above my birth altar. I came to my altar and vision board every day to visualize the birth that I desired. And ultimately, I accepted the fact that birth is unpredictable, and one of the greatest things I could do for myself is to practice the art of surrender and be present and curious in my body during the experience of birth.

My body is opening and unfolding to easily birth my baby. I am open to the experience of birth. My body is strong like a mountain, my power is unshakeable. With every breath, I drop deeper into my birthing body. I am connected to and supported by all the mothers of the world. I am connected to all the women birthing in this now, we are birthing together.

For anyone looking to: educate themselves more on birth, prepare to give birth, navigate pregnancy, and thrive in postpartum I recommend these books: Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin, Birthing From Within by Pam England, Hypnobirthing by Marie Mongan, Unassisted Childbirth by Laura Khaplan Shanley, Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin, Birth Without Fear by Grant Dickly Reid. I’m a little new to the realm of podcasts, but I have to say I love a good birth podcast. As of recent, I’ve only really listened to a few from Birthful but I’m sure there are lots of very informative and supportive pregnancy and birth podcasts out right now—and I’m considering starting one myself! Of course, just use discernment when choosing what to listen to, not all of the content out there will necessarily resonate with you or be helpful for your journey.

To prepare the body, I highly recommend prenatal chiropractic care, acupuncture treatments, reiki, prenatal massage, birth therapy, couples counseling and babyproofing your marriage, and seeing a pelvic floor therapist—at least once or twice before birth. Prenatal yoga was an absolute game changer for me as well, and I usually just found my yoga videos on youtube! Spinning babies also has lots of wonderful resources for preparing the body and moving the baby into the optimal position for birth. As far as prenatal and postpartum care, I cannot stress enough the importance of choosing a care provider that really respects you, your needs, and desires in pregnancy + birth. Having open communication, and sometimes hard conversations with your midwife or OB in the beginning will help you to assess quickly if they are a good fit for you or not, and give you the time needed to change care providers if you find that they don’t really align with you. GET A DOULA! For birth and postpartum if you can! As for postpartum, having a lactation consultant you can call, visit, or facetime for any in depth support or quick questions is so important and will save you from stress and google searches during those first few days + weeks of breastfeeding! Keeping consistent with all your supplements and prenatal vitamins after birth and while breastfeeding is a must. Your body will be working hard at healing, and simultaneously producing nutrients for your baby. Your body will need all the nutrients it can get! Keep up your visits to the chiropractor, acupuncturist, and pelvic floor therapist! Massages, reiki treatments, sound healing, somatic healing, and just having time for yourself to process your birthing experience and rediscover yourself in motherhood are all gentle ways to give yourself the support you’ll need to thrive in postpartum. Talk with your family and friends about what you will need for you, your partner, and your baby—or babies—to feel supported in postpartum. Make your wishes very clear, and set whatever boundaries are needed for your family to feel held and cared for in the way that is best for you. For me, I loved the idea of having friends and family bring by or drop off meals, come straighten up the house a little, do laundry, fold clothes, and other meaningful things like that. Above all else, allow yourself to be guided towards what feels nourishing, uplifting, and supportive for you on your own unique and transformative journey into motherhood. Don’t ever doubt your own strength and mother wisdom!